I love reminiscing at old photos or old journals that i’ve written to remember the great times that i’ve already had in my life, don’t you?
I find that every time i’m talking to someone about old memories or experiences – they’re all good ones. No one brings up things that they’re ashamed of. No one brings out that old photo of themselves dressed in daggy overalls picking their nose when they were 5 do they? No. Because it’s embarrassing! But we need to remember that those ’embarrassing moments’ are the ones that make us unique! And let’s face it – who doesn’t love a good pair of overalls! My mum would be totally proud of me saying that!
I was cleaning earlier today – so much fun! (those of you who know me best know I’m telling the absolute truth) and i came across what i thought was a book. it was entitled ‘The purpose driven life’. I must of missed the part where it said journal on the front! Because when I opened it I found that it had writing in it. My husbands writing. I sat down and decided to flick through and read some of it. I knew that he wouldn’t mind. And if he did, we’d have some serious talking to do!
The first page that I opened to it started talking about how we need to accept who we are and that ‘my smile, my experience, even the sin I have committed has all been forgiven’. ‘I can accept the bad stuff in the past because now i can use those experiences to help others’. ‘My purpose is defined by Him and unless I accept who He has truly made me, I can’t live for His purpose’. Wow. Talk about smacked in the face! We don’t have to be ashamed anymore because God has taken our sins and forgiven them. I get frustrated sometimes because some people think that Christians use Gods forgiveness as an excuse for us just to get out of stuff. Well, my friends let me tell you that just because God has forgiven us, doesn’t mean we don’t pay a price here on Earth.
We all have insecurities. Mine decided to pay me a visit today when I opened the journal and read about my Husband’s past girlfriend. Now not even 18 months ago, this would have totally ruined me. In fact, about 18 months ago I would have called my husband, abused him and threatened a divorce – and I did, not a divorce, but I told him i didn’t want to be with him anymore and threw my engagement ring across the room because I had read a letter he wrote to his past girlfriend on his laptop. A tad over the top right? well yes, you could say that but that’s how our insecurities can get the better of us.
Jesus died for us so that we could give our anxieties to God and never let them take over us. But today, when I read the words ‘my girlfriend’ and ‘our future together’, I knew full well that he wasn’t talking about me and it hurt – even though we are married now but it hurt that he even thought that way about anyone else ever. So silly when you think about it because we are living in the present, not the past, where this book belonged. It may have hurt me initially, because I am human but when I spoke against it, and told the devil to get stuffed and that I was living for a greater purpose, i was freed from an insecurity. Now thats God’s grace.
‘cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you’. ! Peter 5:7
I encourage you to find the power of God in your weakness. Because He begins where you end.